Beth M. Broom, Executive Director of CTHN
At CTHN we spend a lot of time talking about how to care for someone who has experienced trauma and is now on the journey to healing. But what about someone who has recently experienced something potentially traumatic? What are some things we need to keep in mind in order to help the sufferer find support and encouragement when a crisis occurs?
When a person has access to ongoing support in the midst of a crisis, s/he is much less likely to develop symptoms of acute stress or PTSD. Whether you are a ministry leader, pastor, counselor, or friend, your presence communicates compassion to the victim of a crisis. In this post I’d like to offer some practical ways you can come alongside a victim of a potentially traumatic event.
I’ve spent a lot of time developing crisis care plans, and the most important thing I’ve learned is that the plan itself is less important than the presence of people who care. So first and foremost, the question you ask when someone experiences a crisis is how and when you will communicate with them and sit with them. Slowing down and offering a listening ear communicates great love. As you listen to their struggle, you’re listening to understand, not simply to make the situation better. Chances are you really can’t make the situation better anyway. Connection is the number one priority.
Secondarily, you are listening for areas of practical need. When a person experiences a crisis, s/he might not have the mental capacity to think about when the bills are due or who is going to pick the kids up from school. You can ask about things like finances, housing, medical needs, and childcare needs. You can help the person brainstorm ways to make sure the crucial things are happening.
Inevitably when you ask these questions, you’ll sense that you need to help. This is where having a team of people is extremely helpful. Does your church or parachurch ministry have a care team that can step in and help in crisis situations? If not, this could be a proactive step that helps you prepare to be as supportive as possible when a crisis hits. You can include people on the team who cook meals, offer transportation, or even love to clean and do laundry. It’s also useful to have a list of community resources available, such as food pantries, shelters, and legal aid.
If you don’t have the ability to access a team of people to help in crisis situations, you can still offer support. Just keep in mind that you don’t want to over-promise or take on too much responsibility. If you do this, you could eventually cause unintentional harm. The person in crisis might rely too heavily upon you, or you might find that you cannot perform what you originally promised. Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom, and seek to access outside resources whenever possible.
I’ll say again what I said at the beginning – your presence is the most important thing. Ask the victim how often they would like you to communicate with them. Usually in the first 48 hours of a crisis, it’s wise to check in at least once after the initial conversation. After that, you can arrange with the victim a weekly meeting as well as phone calls and texts. I have noticed that people in crisis are not very likely to reach out for support, so we can lighten their burden by choosing to reach out at least twice a week in the first three weeks following a crisis. In those interactions, be sure to ask about how they are doing and any additional practical needs they may have. It’s also wise to ask about their mental and emotional state, specifically listening for signs that they may be experiencing suicidal or self-harming thoughts and/or behaviors. If a person begins to show these signs, you should recommend that they seek help from a mental health professional. And if the risk is urgent, they should go to a mental health triage center or the ER.
Romans 12:15 calls us to weep with those who weep. When a person experiences a crisis, we should seek to enter in. Our prayer at CTHN is that individuals, churches, and ministries will grow in their care for trauma survivors and victims, and we want to continue to equip you with practical tools for doing this. We have created a worksheet called “Care Plan for Crisis” that includes short-term, mid-term, and long-term ideas for crisis intervention. This worksheet is available to all CTHN members by clicking HERE. If you’d like to learn more about how to become a member of CTHN, click HERE.