Beth M. Broom, Executive Director of CTHN
One of the most common struggles faced by trauma survivors is negative patterns of thinking. Sometimes these patterns become so ingrained that the survivor believes untrue things about himself, which can negatively impact his emotions, behaviors, and long-term growth. How do we help trauma survivors change these negative thinking patterns so that their thoughts are more aligned with biblical truth?
Romans 12:2 offers wisdom in how we are to approach negative thinking patterns: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Thinking and believing the wrong things demonstrates a conformation to this world. For example, if I believe that I am completely unredeemable, I am not thinking like an adopted child of God. I need my mind to be renewed in the truth so that I will believe and behave in accordance with my identity in Christ. And Paul gives us some valuable wisdom: he says that by testing we can discern what is the will of God. Our thoughts need to be tested, and we need to pray for discernment so that we can know good from evil.
When I’m working with a counselee whose thinking patterns are incorrect, I want to help him slow down and pay attention to the story he’s telling himself. I often ask, “When that situation occurs, what are you thinking about yourself? What do you believe?” Maybe he says, “I think I’m stupid.” Then I can ask how it feels to sense that he’s stupid. Maybe he feels afraid of what will happen next, or maybe he feels angry with himself. Then I want him to understand that applying the label of ‘stupid’ is a moral judgment against himself. In essence, he’s using this situation to make meaning about himself. I want him to notice how judgment can deepen his sense of shame. And ultimately, I want him to notice that God does not call him stupid. God loves him deeply and wants him to live an abundant life in Christ.
This process is often slow. I listen to stories of the counselee’s life and keep asking questions about how these stories impact his view of himself, God, and the world. I validate the fact that he has chosen to call himself stupid for some kind of reason, and I want to know what that reason is. Somehow that label is ‘helping’ him cope with pain. In what ways might it be helping him? Sometimes I discover that a person is simply applying a label that was applied to him by adults in his life when he was young. He’s simply continuing that story that began in childhood, so now we do the work of inviting God to heal the pain he experienced (and still experiences).
Sometimes I discover that a person believes negative things because he simply didn’t have tools or language to find a different interpretation in certain situations. For example, perhaps he assumed he was stupid because he learned differently from other kids. Perhaps he needs encouragement that his learning differences make him unique, not stupid. And sometimes a person believes negative things about himself because it provides some sort of safety. So, for example, if he believes he is stupid, he has full permission not to take risks and try new things (which could feel scary).
In any case, we do the work of listening well and understanding what’s underneath a person’s negative thinking patterns. Once we have a good understanding of this, we can begin to apply the healing balm of God’s Word. Trauma survivors need to hear that God’s steadfast love is from everlasting to everlasting (Psalm 103:17) and that nothing can separate them from his love (Romans 8:38-39). We pray with our counselees that God will increase their faith to believe the truth about his love and redemption, and we walk with them as they unravel these negative patterns and seek to discern God’s will.
We have created a handout that includes common negative thinking patterns and passages of scripture that can help the counselee grow in believing the truth. This handout is available to all our CTHN members by clicking HERE. To learn more about CTHN membership, click HERE.