Beth M. Broom, LPC-S, CCTP-II
Many survivors of trauma who attend counseling struggle to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Healing is a long journey, and it can sometimes seem as if that journey is taking us in circles. Counselees have asked me on many occasions if I think we’re making any progress. They struggle to see whether they have changed and grown during our time together.
In our Level 1 Certification Training, we talk extensively about the process of healing from the effects of trauma, and we state often that the process can be slow. Some of my counselees work with me weekly for months or even years. And if you’ve worked with survivors for any length of time, you know the counselor/counselee relationship becomes very important to survivors. They see it as a lifeline and a continual encouragement in a world that is often so discouraging. They know you are there to hold them accountable, and they feel more motivated and confident when you’re meeting together.
While these are good things that should happen in the counseling relationship, they also come with potential dangers. If your counselees really love you, will they want to keep seeing you forever? Will they grow to depend on you in ways that potentially subvert and overshadow their need for dependence on the Lord? Could the counseling process become stuck? Could counselees grow resistant to challenge and growth because they don’t want to be autonomous?
Our goal in counseling is not to create a revolving door in which we are perpetually needed by our counselees. In fact, our goal as Christian counselors should primarily be to point our counselees to the deep love of Christ that surpasses everything else. We model His compassion, but we remind our counselees often that our compassion is rooted in His. Sometimes in the name of compassion we may tend to prolong the counseling process even beyond what it is meant to be. We should pay attention to the care we are giving and have specific goals for what will bring counselees to ‘graduation’ from the counseling process.
How do we know the process of counseling is helping our counselees? How can we encourage them when they don’t notice their own growth? Obviously the process of healing cannot be completely quantified on paper because it’s actually a life-long process. We notice layers of healing that the Lord intends to do – as one layer is peeled, another one is revealed. Such is sanctification. But is there a way for us to measure the quality and breadth of the counseling work?
I believe we can and should seek to measure the growth of our counselees over time. Again, this is not a quantitative measure, but rather a measure of the quality of the work being done and its positive impact on the counselee. Here are some questions that highlight areas of growth we want to notice over time:
- Can the counselee regulate her body and emotions when distress occurs, and can she regulate more and more quickly after a distressing moment occurs?
- Does the counselee engage with her community and seek to have healthy relationships, some of which are close and vulnerable, and some of which are more casual?
- Does the counselee increasingly function with an attitude of curiosity and creativity rather than judgment and shame, especially when distress occurs?
- Is the counselee growing in dependence on God and trust in him for her growth and healing?
- Can the counselee lament and also remember the goodness and promises of God? Can she hold both together at the same time?
- Does the counselee take healthy risks to continue growing?
- Is the counselee uprooting false beliefs and planting biblical truth in its place?
We need to be watching closely for signs of growth in our counselees. They may not see these things, but we can provide encouragement and hope by asking good questions and checking in about how they are experiencing their struggles and relationships. In this way we will be vessels who continually offer the hope of the gospel to those who suffer.
I have created a tool called the Trauma Healing Outcomes Assessment, which is a 17-question scale that can be used as a checkpoint with counselees throughout the counseling process. This tool is available to all CTHN members by clicking HERE. If you’d like to learn more about membership with CTHN, click HERE.
